Like many owners or operators in private lending, the hands on a clock have no real meaning to me.  We are committed to whatever it takes of time, effort, personal sacrifices, or otherwise to ensure the success of our companies. But that “whatever it takes” approach won’t come without having a purpose. 

Discovering Purpose

Purpose is an intriguing concept. Some discover it early on in life; for me, that wasn’t the case. While I did not wander many paths before I stumbled into the mortgage industry, I did land here quite unexpectedly, without any familial precedent or grand design—it was a literal accident, you might say. Looking back now, after three decades of diverse roles and experiences, I can confidently say it was a fortunate stumble.

This journey has shaped not only my professional identity but also my roles as a mother, a partner, and now as the founder and CEO of FIRE Capital Group, a company I believe will make a significant impact in private lending. This “rebel with a cause” venture aims not only to transform private lending but also to challenge perceptions of women in leadership roles. But my purpose may not be your own. If you haven’t considered an exercise for the who or the why you are doing what you are doing, it is an exercise that should be considered and completed. Each of us will be driven to that end by different criteria.

There is no one perfect way to get to your purpose, and these suggestions aren’t all-inclusive, but they are a good start to your purpose path. First, write down all the things you absolutely love to do in life (not just work life), look at those things, and consider the ones you do with relative ease. Take an inventory of those and see where your strengths and weaknesses are within them. Is there some common thread to be considered? If you imagined your best possible self – what is it that you are doing?  Purpose is tied to your values, motivations, passions, and self-examination. It’s in there – you just have to do the work to find it. 

Navigating Challenges

When I was asked to contribute to this edition of Women in Private Lending, I felt both honored and reflective. I confided in a male colleague, who humorously pointed out how differently men might view such an opportunity, perhaps with more expectation than humility. This observation encapsulates a common sentiment among women in my field: a sense that we must downplay our achievements. I do not claim to be a mouthpiece for how other women feel about their career paths, whether in mortgage or otherwise, but I believe their stories are much like mine. 

These stories often involve relentless hard work, gratitude for opportunities, and moments of vulnerability. The mortgage industry, I must admit, is not for the faint-hearted. If someone had told me how hard it would be when I started, I might have taken a different path, but my hope in this reflection story is “the hard is worth it.” My Dad used to love to (and still does) tell me that “nothing worth having comes easy.” He is right, of course.

I remember being told just a couple of years ago that I wasn’t going to be CEO material. My “perspective as a woman in the industry” wouldn’t be received well. I have been told I am too soft, I am too bold, I am too [insert here]. My more polished and seasoned self refrained from a defensive response to that remark, and instead, met it with an “Oh, it’s interesting you think so.” While my inner voice was screaming, “You better hide and watch.” Navigating challenges like these is difficult and frankly, exhausting, and frustrating in some situations, but  have also been catalysts for me to push myself beyond any limits I have set for myself and certainly those of others. It is said,“Take the higher road, it is less traveled.” I have found that to be true.

Rewards and Reflections

It’s fair to say that being a woman in any male-dominated field presents challenges. However, these challenges have been accompanied by profound rewards, far beyond mere financial gains. Have you ever been told, “You should write a book?” I’ve contemplated it often. My experiences,from amusing anecdotes to jaw-dropping tales,could fill volumes. Reflecting on my journey, I’m reminded of Robert Fulghum’s 1986 book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Tidbits of wisdom in this book include being kind, learning to share, telling the truth, and being a helper. A similar primer for certain professions might have eased some of my early frustrations. But then again, the richness of experience might have been dulled.

It is also worth noting that rewards past anything financial can be where the real “win” comes in. The things that say, “Hey girl, that passion and purpose you are putting out there every day? It’s good stuff.” I remember the first time I was asked to be on a podcast. I thought, “What the heck do I have to share or say that will be meaningful to anyone listening?” Turns out, authenticity and trying to be a good human resonates with people. I received positive messages, texts, and other invitations to participate in other forums to share my thoughts and perspectives. Not just about mortgage lending, but about life as well. While some might consider pride to be in a standard list of sins, or contrary to heavenly virtues, this mortgage business has indeed brought me a great sense of pride and honor. 

Final Reflections

For those still reading, here are my parting thoughts. Lessons are abound in life, both learned and taught. Embrace both roles with enthusiasm, and when possible, humor. If I could advise my younger self, I’d emphasize the importance of not being afraid to break a mold. A lesson encapsulated by Dr. Seuss’s timeless advice: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind. Master the art of balance—professional versus personal, seriousness versus finding the funny. Remember, dark cannot exist without light, and light often comes with laughter. Willow trees look fragile (much like the viewpoint of some regarding women), but their long life and the ease in which a new tree can be rooted from cuttings (rebirth/re-invention of oneself), as well as their ability to bend with whatever weather (hardship) comes their way. I am a fan of the Willow.

Lastly, trust your instincts and trust yourself. It will all work out as it should. May your journey be filled with the passion and purpose you have intentionally created.